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@@ -56,20 +56,21 @@ science to defend their profits [@hulac-jul-2016]. They have also used the same
 strategies, including manufacturing scientific controversy, 'information
 laundering' through think-tanks, and providing financial support to scientists
 who promote views in line with their interests [@smoke-mirrors-hot-air]. Fossil
-fuel companies have used balancing norms in journalism and American values of
-fairness to demand an equal public hearing for climate sceptics over their
-opponents, creating a public impression that the experts are divided
-[@leah-2011, pp. 204-208]. Fossil fuel companies have obscured their involvement
-in their own strategies by funneling their money through legal vehicles called
-'donor foundations,' which give their money to think-tanks on their behalf while
+fuel companies have used balancing norms in journalism to demand an equal public
+hearing for climate sceptics over their opponents, creating a public impression
+that the experts are divided on the reality of human-caused climate change or
+the urgency of the need to reduce greenhouse gas emissions [@leah-2011, pp.
+204-208]. Fossil fuel companies have obscured their involvement in their own
+strategies by funneling their money through legal vehicles called 'donor
+foundations,' which give their money to think-tanks on their behalf while
 protecting their anonymity [@brulle-2014]. When climate sceptics don't leave a
 paper trail tracing their money back to the fossil fuel companies who benefit
 from the promotion of their views, they are much harder to refute, particularly
-in cultures like the US which place a high value on the freedom of speech.
+in cultures like the UK and US which place a high value on the freedom of speech.
 
 Therefore, as long as the fossil fuel industry has significant power, the
 majority epistemology of our society cannot help but be partially shaped by
-fossil fuel interests. To escape fossil knowledge requires minority cognition.
+fossil fuel interests. To escape fossil-think requires minority cognition.
 
 This has precedents even within the green movement. In the view of Linda Lear,
 the effect of _Silent Spring_, Rachel Carson's damning exposé on the chemical
@@ -83,23 +84,20 @@ an aggressive publicity campaign against her. She was attacked for being
 'emotional' and an 'hysterical woman.' The fact she had published novels was
 cited as evidence that she couldn't be a real scientist, and her literary
 writing style as evidence that what she was writing couldn't be real science.
-Real science, the chemical industry hastened to remind the impressionable
-public, is necessarily presented in the format of laboratory reports, maximising
-their utilisation of technical jargon in order to prevent the comprehension of
-their contents by under-qualified persons. Carson had no PhD, no academic
-institution, and no network of scientific colleagues to back her up.
-[@silent-spring, pp. 122-124]
-
-To fight the chemical lobby, Carson had to adopt minority epistemology. So,
-alongside her considerable arsenal of traditional scientific facts, she
-included in her book historical facts based on lived experience, with no
-attempt to fit them into clearly-defined quantifiable metrics, in the
-scientific style favoured by the chemical industry. One memorable example was
-her report that parathion poisoning had been known to induce serious illness
-not only in those exposed directly, but also to the physicians who treated
-them, and even the hospital staff who washed their clothes. [@silent-spring, p. 27]
-
-Like John, she was also forced to undermine the chemical industry's majority
+Carson had no PhD, no academic institution, and no network of scientific
+colleagues to back her up. [@silent-spring, pp. 122-124]
+
+To fight the chemical industry, Carson had to adopt minority epistemology. So,
+alongside her considerable arsenal of traditional scientific facts, she included
+in her book historical facts based on lived experience, with no attempt to fit
+them into clearly-defined quantifiable metrics in the scientific style favoured
+by the chemical industry. One unforgettable example was her report of a
+parathion poisoning incident. First, agricultural workers who had sprayed
+parathion on crops fell sick. After that, the physicians who treated them fell
+sick too. Finally, the same illness struck the hospital staff who had washed the
+patients' clothes. [@silent-spring, p. 27]
+
+Like John, Carson was also forced to undermine the chemical industry's majority
 epistemology. In _Silent Spring_, she showed how the chemical industry funded
 the same science which enabled its profits. She undermined their conceptual
 frameworks, arguing that the use of words like 'pesticide' and 'insecticide'
@@ -131,16 +129,16 @@ If green rhetors today want to persuade their audiences,
 they're going to have to fight the majority epistemology, held firmly in place
 by fossil interests. To do that, they'll need to exploit minority cognition,
 undermining the epistemologies that best serve fossil interests and finding
-alternatives that oppose them.
+alternatives which oppose them.
 
 The second feature of John's rhetoric I considered was the theme of
 tribulations. Just as John's audience stood to lose out if they resisted the
 imperial cult, UK citizens stand to lose out, in time, money, and friends, if
-they take political action for a Green New Deal. If audiences are to understand
+they take political action for a greener future. If audiences are to understand
 how such a sacrifice could be good for them, they will need to see that their
 sacrifices are not meaningless, but part of a much larger context. Ann Pettifor,
-in her book arguing for her version of a Green New Deal, shows this rhetoric in
-action:
+in her book arguing for her version of a Green New Deal, shows this green
+tribulation rhetoric in action:
 
 > For change to happen, both courage and leadership will be essential. As I
 > write this, the people of Hong Kong have assembled in their millions to
@@ -203,11 +201,12 @@ self-branded eco-socialist scholar and activist, Max Ajl:
 Ajl, as with many other Green New Deal activists, recognises that having and
 sharing the right utopian vision plays an essential role in bringing about
 transformative political change. While acknowledging that real political change
-involves defeats and compromises as well as victories, he lambasts
-social-democratic political programmes on the grounds that they give up the
-fight for a better world before the battle has even begun: 'if one is building a
-struggle that accepts a compromised horizon, one is not going to reach a further
-horizon' [@ajl-gnd, p. 95]. Or, as utopia scholar Lisa Garforth puts it:
+involves defeats and compromises as well as victories, he lambasts what he sees
+as underly-ambitious political programmes on the grounds that, in the pursuit of
+'realism,' they give up the fight for a better world before the battle has even
+begun: 'if one is building a struggle that accepts a compromised horizon, one is
+not going to reach a further horizon' [@ajl-gnd, p. 95]. Or, as utopia scholar
+Lisa Garforth puts it:
 
 > The hopeful but shallow utopianism in popular environmentalism and global
 > policy-making can be compared with radical ecopolitical visions and similarly