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diff --git a/website/src/content/blog/2025/06/23/work.md b/website/src/content/blog/2025/06/23/work.md deleted file mode 100644 index 83f4b19..0000000 --- a/website/src/content/blog/2025/06/23/work.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,200 +0,0 @@ ---- -title: Figuring things out -description: - I thought I needed to 'figure things out'. Here's what I did instead. -pubDate: 2025-06-23 ---- - -'You could always do a Panic Masters.' In my last year of undergraduate studies, -that was often the sort of advice we liked to console one another with. A lucky -few people in my year had a clear sense of vocation, but most of us felt -confused. - -Not that we lacked options - graduating with a good degree from a good -university, we were lucky to have a great deal more options than most people our -age. We went all sorts of directions. Some followed the money, going into big -boring management consultancy, big bad tech companies or startups swimming in -venture capital. Others wanted something more noble, and pursued teaching or the -third sector. Others still went travelling the world on a shoestring or worked a -low-skilled job living with their parents, hoping to 'figure things out'. - -I thought I needed to figure things out. But I was sure I wasn't going to do -that by pulling pints, going on holiday, or staying in the university (even -though I felt passion for academia). I needed something different, something -that would move my life forward, and ideally, something that would pay the -bills. Then, maybe after a year or two, I would have a better idea of what -longer-term future I saw for myself. This, I thought, is the way to start -figuring things out. - -But by January of this year (2025), nothing seemed to have changed. I was still -working in the same job. I hadn't discovered a passion for software engineering. -Nor had I discovered a passion for anything else. I was more skilled, I suppose, -but I didn't have any clearer ideas about how the skills I have should guide me -into any career into particular. I had looked at other jobs, but not made many -serious applications. I had applied to a Masters programme in 2024, got an -offer, turned it down, and applied again in 2025. I was disappointed that I -apparently hadn't made much progress. - -So I vowed to do something about it. I promised myself to study the matter. I -wanted to know what route to pursue. And, being Christian, I thought, I had to -figure out how to leverage my theological resources to answer this question. I -believed that God would have a path set out for me, and so I had to find out -what it was. A friend told me I needed discernment. That, I thought, was what I -needed to do - discern the will of God for my career. - -I supposed, what God willed me to do in general was quite obvious -- he wants me -to live in line with the gospel. But that doesn't say much about my career -choices. So I expected to find something a little more specific. I didn't expect -to find it in the Bible directly, of course, as there's not much about software -engineering in the Bible. But maybe the Holy Spirit was trying to nudge me in -the right direction, and I just needed to figure out how to hear him. - -By the way, if you're not a super-spiritual sort and this is starting to sound a -little kooky, I'm with you -- but I didn't see any other possibility. After all, -what else could 'discernment' mean in practice, if not 'discerning' some still -small voice? - -So I studied. I got myself copies of some tracts, including Tim Keller's [_Every -Good Endeavour_][every-good-endeavour] and William Taylor's [_Revolutionary -Work_][revolutionary-work]. These writers showed me how I had for so long been -stuck in a view of work which didn't make sense and wasn't leading me anywhere. -I came away shaken off from how I had been thinking before, and given a new -perspective from which to start re-thinking my attitudes to work. It's been -exhilirating, and I recommend both books to anyone for whom work is a major -concern (but especially to those who, like me, are already infected with -middle-class thinking, or those at risk of catching it). - -The will of God for my life really is as simple as I had feared. What God wants -for me is the same as what he wants for everyone: to live in line with the -gospel. God probably doesn't have any special extras for me personally. If the -Holy Spirit does want to speak to me and wants me to hear it, I can trust him to -make that happen, and in the meantime, I can carry on listening to God's words -in the miraculous way he has already provided, not in private whispers but in -the blinding clear public light of the testimony of the Bible and of the Church -to Jesus Christ. - -I still have unanswered questions about my future career. But my angst is gone. - -My angst is gone because I see now I was asking the wrong questions. I wasn't -really anxious about which career I ought to pursue. I perceived -- rightly -- -that I had been called to walk a narrow path in a life full of junctions. But -this led me to think that for me, those junctions are mostly about my career -choices. It followed that the career choices I faced had the power to lead me -astray from God's way if I chose wrong. Without a map charting the way ahead, -without a rule by which to determine which was God's way and which the wrong -way, I feared that my career choices were a dangerous gamble. If I got it wrong, -I wouldn't be a genuine follower of Christ, I wouldn't genuinely be trying to do -what's right, and I wouldn't be fulfilling my God-given destiny. - -What I didn't see was that I had re-worded the world's anxieties in God-speak. -It sounded reassuringly pious, but it wasn't right. In fact, it was idolatry. - -As I observed at the start of this essay, a large part of my generation of -university graduates, Christian and non-Christian, share this angst. Most -wouldn't word it in Christian-sounding God-speak. They might say they're worried -about fulfilling their potential. But it's the same angst - the fear that if you -don't choose the right career, you won't be living life to the full, or you -won't be making the most of your talents and passions, or you won't be genuinely -doing what's right, but just following the rest of the world into a lukewarm -career-ladder rat-race. I hadn't 'leveraged my theological resources' at all: -I'd only leveraged my theological thesaurus. - -I think the scales fell from my eyes when commentators brought me back to the -New Testament's advice on work, which doesn't talk about career choices at all. -Since Jesus calls all his followers to enter by the narrow gate (Matt 7:13-14), -likewise, Paul urged the Ephesians to 'live a life worthy of the calling which -you have received' while arguing that Christ has given different gifts of -service to each of us, his workers (Eph 4:1, 7-13). But almost all of the people -Jesus and Paul were addressing had very little control over what work they were -doing. Indeed, almost all people in the world today have very little control -over what work they do. The paralysis of choice that I face is also a rare -privelege. But that means that, when Jesus calls his followers to enter by the -narrow gate, and Paul urges Christians to use their gifts of service, they can't -possibly be primarily talking about career choices: most of their audience -didn't have careers and they didn't have choices. They just had work, and if -they didn't carry on working, they wouldn't eat (2 Thess 3:10). - -The narrow gate is not about choosing the right career in a world of options. -The narrow gate is choosing to trust God in a world of temptation to worship -anything else. - -Nor does Paul encourage us to switch jobs until we find our God-provided perfect -match of talents and passions to service. Indeed, some of his most powerful -encouragement and advice to Christian workers is addressed to people who had -almost no control whatsoever over what work they did: slaves (eg Eph 6:5-8). In -two areas where people did have some limited control, namely, circumcision and -marriage, Paul advises the Corinthians that 'each person should remain in the -situation they were in when God called them' (1 Cor 17:24). - -So God's will for me in my situation is the same as it is for everyone else: to -come back to our father when he calls. In practice, accepting the good news of -Jesus Christ means continually confessing my sin and repenting of it. And that -means being turned inside out: no longer turned in on myself by sin, but turned -outside onto God my father and onto my neighbour in love. - -Nor is there any need for angst, because this is the good news: that we have all -already failed to fulfil our God-given purpose, which is to love God and one -another. If we felt angst, it was justified, and indeed the situation was far -worse than we feared. But despite that, Jesus Christ has made a way for us to be -acceptable, and if we trust in him, we are permanently secure; free from fear, -and free to turn back, however faltingly, to the way we were made to be. - -For me, this has changed how I think about my career choices. - -I've come to see that my career choices are a rare privelege, and something I -should thank God for. It's also a responsibility to take seriously, as it's an -opportunity to choose between service and self-service. - -I shouldn't choose a career just because it's easy, and I should seek out -careers with opportunities to serve, and commit to using the opportunities I -have in whatever work I'm doing to serve. I shouldn't choose a career just -because it fits my university-educated, middle-class prejudices about what work -is dignified and what isn't; what kind of job counts as a 'proper job' and what -is 'dead-end'. - -I also shouldn't choose a career just because it's perceived as 'noble'. The -world needs carers, teachers and preachers. It also needs principled, committed, -competent white-collar workers making sure that certain boring, technical, -invisible systems work well. These systems make caring, teaching and preaching -possible. Through my own experience, I've been humbled by brilliant people in -front-line jobs doing amazing work, but I've also seen how important those -tertiary systems are. - -I also shouldn't dwell too long on my career choices, paralysed by an irrational -angst that the value of my life hangs on making the right decision. I should -remember that Jesus calls everyone alike, although most people don't have -anywhere near as much power over their own career as I do. And I should remember -that, as a result, God will use pretty much any line of work for his glory if I -commit it to him. - -So I shouldn't choose what's easy, nor what's perceived as noble, and nor should -I be paralysed by choice. But what ought I do instead? - -Instead, I should commit my work to God right now, starting from this morning. I -don't have to wait until I find a perfect career, because I will never have a -perfect career. God can use the line of work I'm already in for his glory, and -if I don't believe that, I'm not just doubting myself, I'm doubting him. I -should trust his power. And when I do have career choices, I should commit those -to him too, not fretting endlessly as if one career is holy and another damned, -but prioritising service to God and others over myself and trusting God with the -rest. - -Comfort, elitism and moralism are all forms of idolatry. I can toil endlessly -pursuing any of them and never be satisfied. But instead, I can rest easy in the -knowledge that my place in God's family is secure, and work hard knowing that -whenever and wherever and however I make sacrifices for the good of others, God -is working through me and by me, even though I fall far short of fulfilling my -potential and my God-given purpose. - -I haven't 'figured things out'. As it transpires, there wasn't anything to -'figure out'. I was saddled with angst at a phantom problem, which my knowledge -of the gospel should have told me did not exist. I cannot earn my worth on -earth. But because of Christ, my value is secure. Because of that, I am free to -work without snobbery, without shame and without angst for the sake of love and -in the certain hope that in the end, by God's work, not mine, everything will be -figured out. - -[every-good-endeavour]: - https://uk.10ofthose.com/product/9781444702606/every-good-endeavour-paperback -[revolutionary-work]: - https://uk.10ofthose.com/product/9781910587997/revolutionary-work-paperback |